Public Apology

I-suck-im-sorry

I bought a new TV yesterday. Today when it arrived, I un-boxed it, put the stand on, messed around with wires left from the previous TV, hell! I even managed to set it up without launching the remote control across the living room. I realise this isn’t a big deal for most people but for someone as technically inept as me, it was another demon slayed in the long list of things I didn’t believe I could do.

Other things I’ve over come this weekend include taking a 3-year-old on the weekly food shop …. there was nothing more ridiculously funny than seeing the world through the eyes of a 3 year old and skidding around the aisles of Tesco’s whilst clinging on to a trolley full of food. Listening to her contagious laughter ringing out around the frozen section has to be the highlight of my weekend. I accept that 90% of my time, I hate both my kids in equal measures, maybe I was just having a weak moment and it will pass, but for now, that sweet innocent laughter is still making me smile.

As I start this new journey, I’m sure there will be some hills, some pot holes, and some bloody great big mountains to navigate which got me thinking again about running. (because that’s what this blog is about right?!).

I only started my proper running journey in January 2017, fast forward 11 months and I’ve gone from a 2 minute plod to a 2 hr 28 min plod. This year I’ve run over 450 miles which have included 5k park runs, a couple of 10k’s, a couple of half marathons, I go out and run 8-10 miles of a weekend (child care allowing), I can now squat for England and have rediscovered real, live working muscles that were buried deep underneath a fair few layers of fat. We’ve all had to slay a few demons when we first start out running, sometimes getting out the door is a huge achievement, then once we’re out we find that we go further, we go faster, we go harder but we all had to start somewhere. I’ve also discovered that when I can’t run, there are not enough words in the world to describe how totally and utterly miserable it is to be watching everyone from the outside in. I’ve felt jealousy, misery, frustration, self-loathing, bitterness and everything in between.

So this relatively short, self-indulgent and really rather serious post for me, is my public apology. I’m sorry to all the people who have wanted to smash my head through a brick wall for the last 3 weeks, to all the people on Facebook and Twitter who are sick to the back teeth of my messages with undertones of bitterness, to all the people in my office tired of tripping over the chair with my leg on it attached to an ice pack, to the Redway Runners Saturday beginners who I couldn’t tail run for and whose graduation I couldn’t attend, to the people of Milton Keynes who had the “good fortune” of bumping into me, to the local Tesco’s for running their stocks of wine so low I hear there is an emergency meeting being held to source additional stocks in time for Christmas but more importantly to those close enough to me who I have taken all of my frustrations out on. You know who you are; I’m sorry and I thank you from the heart of my bottom.

It’s only now that I’ve started to put this all into perspective and think .. “If I can set a TV up, then I sure as hell can run a marathon”. #PositiveThoughts #SmallStepsLeadToBetterPlaces

Until next time

SM xx

 

One Reply to “Public Apology”

  1. Love your blogs. Heartfelt and honest. You have a great sense of humour. No need to apologise regarding the beginners, although it is greatly appreciated. I understand.
    You are a very determined lady and I look forward to seeing your next blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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